Most church and school leaders know exactly what it feels like. You sit down on Monday morning with the best of intentions. This week, you tell yourself, you’re finally going to spend time thinking about the future—about enrollment growth, discipleship, facilities, or how your ministry will reach the next generation with the gospel.

When our four daughters were in grade school and high school, it felt like opportunities were everywhere. Piano lessons, violin lessons, voice lessons. Volleyball, basketball, softball, cross-country. Dance classes. School trips. Each opportunity was good—valuable, enriching, worthwhile.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development began in 1938 and is one of the longest-running longitudinal studies on human life ever conducted. Its original aim was to follow 268 Harvard students throughout their lives to better understand what leads to a happy and fulfilling life.

Spouses and couples often don’t see the same situation the same way. For example, one person wants to talk things out, while  the other needs time to think things through.