Why Do Each of Us See Things Differently?
By Shawn Herkstroeter, Director of Coaching
The Harvard Study of Adult Development began in 1938 and is one of the longest-running longitudinal studies on human life ever conducted. Its original aim was to follow 268 Harvard students throughout their lives to better understand what leads to a happy and fulfilling life. After more than 80 years of data collection, one conclusion clearly stands out: the quality of a person’s relationships is a critical predictor of long-term happiness and health.
As Christians, this finding should not surprise us. God created us as relational beings, designed to live in a healthy relationship with Him and with one another. We flourish when our relationships are strong and loving. However, frustration often arises when our perspective on a situation differs from that of a coworker, friend, or family member. It is easy to let these differences create friction or distance. The first step in navigating these differences more effectively is awareness.
In moments like these, it is helpful to pause and remember that God created each of us uniquely. Because of this, we naturally view situations from different perspectives. These differences do not determine what is right or true, but they do influence what we notice, what we value, and how we make meaning. On effective tool for building awareness and better understanding these differences is CliftonStrengths. This research-based tool identifies 34 strengths that function as lenses shaping how we interpret the world around us.
Here’s a clear, practical way to think about it.
Someone high in Achiever notices progress, effort, and productivity during a meeting.
Someone high in Harmony notices tension, tone, and relational undercurrents during a meeting.
Someone high in Strategic notices patterns, options, and future implications during a meeting.
Someone high in Belief notices alignment (or misalignment) with organizational values during a meeting.
Same meeting. Same data. Different realities are noticed. Your strengths don’t change the situation, but they strongly influence what stands out to you. Equipped with this knowledge can help you better navigate how you interact with yourself and others.
We believe the best way to grow in this understanding is by completing the full 34 CliftonStrengths assessment and pairing it with a 90-minute coaching conversation with one of our trained team members at Grace in Action. This process helps you better understand how you think, interpret situations, and respond to challenges so you can be more intentional in how you live and lead in life and ministry.
The impact is even greater when your team, staff, or family completes the assessment together. Sharing and discussing strengths builds appreciation for God-given differences, reduces unnecessary tension, and helps align perspectives for healthier and more productive relationships.
Grace in Action offers package pricing for the assessment and debrief. If you’d like to learn more or receive a FREE quote, please reach out to Peter Wolfgramm at pwolfgramm@grace-in-action.com
p.s. - Don’t forget about our February Couples Strengths Package! We are offering two full 34 CliftonStrengths assessments, deep-dive reports, and a 90-minute couples coaching debrief for $250 which is a $100 savings!